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January 31, 2013

Your relationships are not absolute


We think our relationships are real. The fact is, every relationship is temporary. “Till death do us apart!” If it doesn’t end with anything else, it ends with death. And the person who suffers is the one who is attached to it. Every attachment happens because you consider relationships as absolute. You think they’re going to last for ever!

And the idea of losing a relationship makes you pathetic, depressed and lonely. It is our unending desire to possess people, and their minds, to our control that makes our minds weary and fearful.

Every relation you’re into today, with your father, mother, siblings, wife, children, is constantly changing. If you keep expecting the same from relationships, you’ll suffer because every relationship is in fact “relative”. Every relationships changes over time, gradually, without notice.

1. The first step to create peace in you relationships is thus to accept that relationships are not absolute. Accept the change. Accept that people change with time and so do you.

2. Stop trying to possess people because they just relate to you. Be responsible for your own actions and not their. And it isn’t always necessary for people to completely resonate to your ideas, because that’s what makes us humans, our ability to be different.

3. Accept everyone the way they are because unless you do this, you’ll keep running behind people trying to change them and eventually, getting attached with them and losing track of what you really wanted in your own life.

4. Love with detachment – give what you can, take what you’re given. Demand less. According to a study, people don’t really want selfish happiness, but want to live a meaningful life with respect, dignity and responsibility. Be that guy/girl.

5. Stop trying to prove yourself – we know how hard it is to convince people. From family to friends, relatives to colleagues, we’ll constantly try to prove our thoughts and forcefully convince people. They’ve a brain of their own. You shouldn’t think for them!

No matter what you do, stop taking relationships for granted. Illustration by Bill Benzon via Flickr