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January 22, 2013

How to create genuine connections with people

how to build genuine connections

I’m bombarded with these questions. How do I make new friends? How do I make people like me? How do I simply stay connected with people? How do I impress people? How do I keep the conversations going? How can I connect with people?

The thing is, our world runs on intentions. Every person on the planet intends something. Some people want to have fun, some want to learn chess, some want to write blogs, some want to impress women, some want to crack that math puzzle. Everyone on the planet, ever single day, lives an intention.

The only reason a person could be without connections is because he isn’t focusing his own intentions or rather, doesn’t own any.

If you intend to study accountancy, and study it, you’ll need help. You’ll need someone to teach you, accompany you in your journey; you’ll find people who have similar intentions. The key is to understand that relationships are based on our ability to match intentions.

Have an intention. Set some goals for yourself and stay committed to them. You’ll only have no friends if you intentions are out of sync with people around you, because people with similar ideals, goals, thoughts always come together to accomplish personal goals collectively.

So, here’s a step by step guide to building genuine connections with people.

1. Set yourself a goal, and an intention – The first step is to set goals. If you’re an artist, your goal should be to discover the best in artist community, learn it, create your own place in that community, exhibit your art and let people discover you.

2. Find activities necessary to reach that goal – But, having a goal isn’t enough. Find out the activities needed to be the best in achieving your goal. Join an art course, sketch portraits down the street, send handmade greeting cards to art-lovers around your city, find activities that improve your and those that also involve many more people in your intentional community.

3. Ask questions, Seek help – Now, the best time to form connections happens when you run into trouble. Go out and openly seek help from others. Not that everyone will help you, but a few definitely will. This will help you build a primary communication surrounding your goal. Mindfully meditate upon your drawbacks.

4. Neither Ego, nor Guilt – We’re all good at things and not-so-good at things. If you get too egoistic, people will stop following you. If you’re so guilty about yourself, people will only share sympathy, but not secrets. Don’t ever procrastinate because of any one of these reasons, because procrastination is the biggest hurdle between you and your genuine connections.

5. Learn to be interesting – People always want to surround themselves with responsible people who can save them from tight situations. Be that guy. Be a savior. Project yourself as the most committed and responsible person they know. Speak less. Reveal less. Quietly march towards perfection.

6. Answer Questions, Deliver happiness – And once you’re good at the stuff you do, teach. Teach because teaching sells and people will be happy you taught them things that helped them solve their own equation of happiness.

But always consider that people have their own ideologies. You can’t necessarily have great connections if you’re trying to achieve something that doesn’t resonate with people right now. Maybe, what you are doing is life transforming, and you’re sure people will have to adapt to the ideals you’re building today, but they don’t just think they require it right now.

And you won’t have followers. But, if you’ve great ideals for yourself, you know what you want to accomplish and big enough to change the lives of thousands of people around you, sooner or later, popular connections will follow. Photo by Rachael Shaoiro via Flickr